This past week has had a lot.
I went to the doctor for (what I believed to be) a routine appointment. By the end it wasn’t as routine as I thought and the doctor thought it was necessary to do some further testing.
It could be nothing. Or it could be something.
The only way to know is more tests. So we scheduled them and now we wait.
Let me tell you that waiting blows. (sorry grandma.)But being in a season of waiting is not easy.
When I saw that I had gained nearly a pound from the week previous, I chose not to do any measurements or take any pictures. This journey is meant to help me love my body better, not harp on all the places I fell short. Harping always made me feel like giving up. I don’t want to give up this time. So, instead of harping, I avoided it all together (although that doesn’t sound super great saying it out loud…)
Needless to say, the attention I had paid to my physical health the week prior had to take a backseat while I took care of my mental health.
I slept. I spent time in prayer and reading the Bible. I put my phone down for hours (or even a full day!) at a time to give undivided attention to my family. I reached out to a lot of my community to ask for help and for prayer. I journaled. I spent a lot of time doing things that help me feel full because sitting in the unknown makes time go excruciatingly slow. All the while, you’re fighting off the “what if” demons in your head constantly that will probably make you sick from stress. I’m gaining more control of those demons as each day passes and I’m chalking it up to a whole lot of prayer and grace.
I have also continued to use intermittent fasting this week as a tool. I shortened my fasting window from 17 hours to 16. This gave me a little more flexibility while still getting some of the major benefits that intermittent fasting provides.
The great thing about going to the doctor this last week I got weighed on her scale (although I do think it weighs a little heavy
) and got a better overall idea how I’ve been doing. I had lost more weight since October and my doctor told me she’s happy with the progress I’m making. #chalkitupasawin
Overall, I’m feeling good about the way I treated myself this last week. I’m getting better and better about hearing what my body needs and fulfilling that need. I’m especially getting better about asking for help when I can’t do it by myself. That help stuff is hard. But the Lord created us to be in community with one another; why should my pride keep me from receiving the Lord’s blessings that come through other people.. (hint: it shouldn’t!).
I feel a lot better today (writing this) so I’m hoping that the weight of the stress of the beginning of the week has lifted and I can get back into a space where exercise is realistic. But, we’ll see.
Well I won the bet this week. Two down, forever to go.